(Excerpt from our forthcoming book Dear Bob and Sue: Season 3 – not yet available for sale.)
January 5, 2018 (Friday)
Dear Bob and Sue,
Karen’s been speaking into her hand all day; she starts every sentence with either “Breaker, breaker 1-9,” or “Copy that.”
“Please tell me you’re not going to talk that way all week,” I said to her when we got to our hotel room this evening.
“Uh, copy that. That’ll be a negatory,” she replied.
“Seriously, people at the airport were staring at you. It looked like you were holding a small bird in your hand and you were talking to it in a strange, twangy voice.”
“I was practicing my CB lingo. We need to know how to talk with the other truckers once we start driving the big-rig. I can’t wait to pull the horn.” Then she made a loud huuh, huuh sound in a freakishly low voice.
“I hate to break it to you, but the RV we rented doesn’t have a CB radio or a horn that you can pull.”
“Are you sure? I’ve already picked out my handle. I was planning to go by ‘Kare Bear’ all week.”
“Beep, beep, beep. Back it up,” I said. “I’m not calling you Kare Bear all week, or ever. Did you notice how I made a truck sound right after you made a truck sound; clever huh?”
“Yeah, clever. I think Kare Bare is a cute name, I mean handle. Do you have a better suggestion?” she asked.
“Well, if you’re tired of Karen, I could call you Kshizzle; that has a nice ring to it. Or, how about KMoney, SuperK, HotNana, SquirrelMagnet, or BoomBoom? Those are all nice names, I mean handles. We could also do a combo, like K to the Squirrel, or maybe Squirrel on Head, or Dances with Squirrels. Wait, wait wait! Dances with Squirrel on Head; that’s it, nailed it. What do you think, too long?”
“BoomBoom? Really? That sounds like a stripper.”
“Alrighty, KShizzle it is.”
And so, another year of travel begins. KMoney and I are in our hotel room contemplating our upcoming adventure. We flew here to Phoenix this afternoon from Seattle, and tomorrow we’ll pick up a 19-foot Cruise America RV that will be our home for the next week as we tour southern Arizona. It’s about time we tried RVing. Whenever we tell people that we visited all of the national parks, the first question they ask is, “Did you do it in an RV?” I’ve always assumed that the it they were referring to was visiting the parks, but now that I’ve written it out, I’m starting to wonder. Anyway, this week will be our maiden voyage.
Southern Arizona seemed like our best chance for mild weather in January, so we secured camping reservations near several national monuments that have been making their way to the top of Karen’s wish bucket. And one thing we’ve already learned is that there seems to be a lot fewer campground options when you’re parking an RV as opposed to setting up a tent.
From the Cruise America office in Tempe, we’ll drive to Chiricahua National Monument, where we’ll spend a couple of nights. Then we’ll head to Saguaro National Park, camping nearby at Catalina State Park in Tucson for two nights, followed by a stay in Tonto National Forest for a night. (Close to Tonto National Monument.) On our way to Tonto, we’re planning to visit Casa Grande Ruins National Monument. Finally, we’ll spend the last night at Little Dutchmen State Park before returning to Tempe.
It’s going to be a blast testing out this new form of travel. I don’t know if Karen is more excited about not having to use any more gas station bathrooms, or the novelty of the kitchen table transforming into her bed. Whatever happens, it will be an adventure. We’re about to become RVers.
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